Pakistani novelist Nemrah Ahmed, author of multiple books including Namal and Jannat Kay Pattay, has come under heated criticism on social media after a response she gave to a follower on Instagram was called out as insensitive and dismissive towards mothers struggling with household responsibilities.
A follower had asked Ahmed for advice, saying that she was managing extensive house chores with a baby while also hosting guests frequently, with no help from anyone and that she was feeling increasingly overwhelmed.
Responding to the message, Ahmed wrote, “When you got married, you made a choice. When you had the baby, you made a choice. Now that baby is your responsibility. It is not a burden on you. You have been given the task of managing it.”
She added that the follower needed to ask for help from her husband and those around her, and continue asking until she received it. “You only get things in life if you ask for them. Asking once and getting hushed up and then thinking ‘meri koi baat nahi maanta’ is not asking. You have to keep speaking up for yourself until you get it,” she wrote.
Ahmed went on to say that even with hired help, mothers still need to personally attend to their child, and that this could be approached either with frustration or “from a place of real motherhood.” She added, “You are not the victim here. You are not the bechari here. Just remember these words. Insaan dunya me mehnat karnay aaya hai,” before telling the follower to “gracefully take the responsibility” of the choices she made.
The response drew backlash from across social media, with many people accusing Ahmed of victim blaming and lacking empathy.
One user wrote, “Yikes. Not just blame the victim but also insane lack of empathy for someone who is genuinely struggling.”
Another said that Ahmed “exactly knows how to manipulate young girls w/ her tricks of starting a new business every 3 month and calling it self help and alll that fancy words,” adding that they had unfollowed and blocked her after previously being a fan.
Some users pushed back on the framing of marriage and motherhood as a choice.
“Assuming marriage and motherhood were a ‘choice.’ Not all women get a ‘choice’ unfortunately,” one comment read, adding that Ahmed had disregarded the possibility of postpartum depression while emphasising “real motherhood.”
Another user argued that the follower likely had a baby due to societal expectations rather than personal choice, writing, “The girl didn’t choose to have a baby… clearly shows she has no supportive in-laws. So Nemrah should stop being harsh.”
A separate comment took issue with the phrase “you’re not the victim here,” stating that responsibility for childcare should not fall on the mother alone. “It’s not just her duty to take care of the child too it’s husband responsibility equally,” the user wrote.
Several users also referenced Ahmed’s novels in their criticism, with one writing that they grew up reading her books believing “we’re the problem not the society,” but no longer felt that way, calling her “the most misogynist female writer.” Another comment alleged that Ahmed had “defended rapists” in Jannat Kay Pattay, though the claim has not been independently verified.
Some reactions extended beyond the Instagram exchange to Ahmed’s broader public persona and writing, with one user calling her the “worst thing to happen to Pakistan” and another criticising her novels for depicting hijab wearing female leads paired with male characters described as controlling, arguing that this “whitewash” pattern amounted to reinforcing patriarchal narratives.
