If you are a woman in your mid 20’s and everyone around you is getting engaged, married or finding ‘the One,’ chances are that you are feeling left out – I know I am. This is where dating apps can come to your rescue. Those of you who have subscribed to our newsletter know that I recently started using a dating app called Bumble. I heard some great feedback on it which is why I gathered the courage and signed up for it.
After the ban on Tinder by the Pakistan Telecommunication Authority (PTA), Bumble has gained significant popularity in Pakistan, especially among women because unlike other dating apps, Bumble puts women in charge. This means that they get to make the first move.
“Women are required to make the first move, shifting old-fashioned power dynamics and encouraging equality from the start,” says Bumble about their app.
After you sign up, you are required to pick three questions and answer them to make your profile fun and exciting. This definitely makes things easy for you and the other person to get a better idea of what both are looking for. If you are planning to make a profile on this app to try your luck in finding what you want, my suggestion is that you clearly state what you want and request the other person to do the same.
While my overall experience with the app has been good, what I liked the most about it is that it verifies your picture before allowing you to make an account. This minimizes the chances of fake profiles.
To get a better understanding of online dating for this piece, I discussed the topic with three other girls, who like me, are also navigating this whole new world.
Rida, a 29-year-old woman based in Lahore says that her experience of using the app has been good and shared that she finds Bumble much better than Tinder.
“I wasn’t looking for dates necessarily so the BFF mode was very interesting,” said Rida. “I met some like-minded people and had a good experience overall.”
Ayesha, a 24-year-old career-oriented woman, who works in a digital marketing agency has been using the dating app for three months.
Talking about what makes her swipe right on someone, Ayesha said: “For me, it was necessary that a guy should be at least a smoker too because I’m a social smoker myself and prefer to socialize over a cigarette.”
“I would prefer that a guy’s picture(s) would indicate some level of maturity/humour/his interests. I would definitely swipe right on a guy who had something funny but non-misogynistic in his bio. Plus points if his bio would include a reference to a TV show/movie/book fandom I too belong to,” shared Ayesha further.
She added: “Almost always swiped right on a guy with pets in pictures/interests.”
Ayesha, however, warned that she has encountered some fake profiles on the app too.
Aleena, a lawyer, says if she has to describe her experience of using the app in one word, it would be “flakey,” warning that one should not meet someone right away.
She also said she has been “slightly” shamed for using a dating app.
Hadia, a 20-year-old working in the development sector, shared that she has been on two dates using the app. She said that she has kept low about her profile on the app, hiding it from parents and family because they would disapprove.
Read More- Online dating still a taboo in Pakistan
Sharing her personal experience and talking about the do’s and dont’s, Hadia said: “Be wary of people who who talk too much about breakups or heartache in their profiles as it could be a lure to attract people with empathy.”
Hadia also shared a few tips, saying that if you’re someone who finds it hard to initiate conversations, “the easiest way to do so is by swiping right and messaging a simple ‘Hi’ or ‘Hi, What’s up?’.”
“I was trying too hard in the beginning with lines like ‘Oh yeah, I do this too,” etc but I later realised there is no need to do so since a lot of these conversations can end up going nowhere. It’s better to start with minimal effort rather than too much effort,” added Hadia.
Note: Names of the responders have been changed to maintain confidentiality.
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